EMDR therapy and counselling for trauma and PTSD
When difficult thoughts, uncomfortable feelings or physical sensations begin to take over, it can be hard to know what to do with them. You may find yourself caught up in worry, scanning for danger, reacting quickly or trying to push uncomfortable feelings away.
Notice, name and observe is a mindfulness-based exercise for managing anxiety and overwhelm. It offers a simple way to slow things down and create a little more space between you and the intensity of your experience.
Intentional expression of thoughts, feelings and body sensations gives you the opportunity to respond rather than react. Over time, this practice can help you feel more grounded, reduce overwhelm and build confidence in your ability to manage difficult moments.
The aim isn’t to make uncomfortable feelings disappear. Instead, it is about developing the ability to notice what is happening, understand what your mind and body are responding to, and gently bring your attention back to the present moment.
When we become frightened, anxious or overwhelmed, our brain’s threat system can become highly activated. Our attention naturally narrows towards anything that might represent danger and it can become harder to think flexibly, consider different possibilities or recognise that we are safe in the present.
Putting your experience into words can help create some distance from the intensity of what you are feeling. Rather than simply being inside the worry or emotion, you begin to observe it.
For example, there is a difference between:
“Something terrible is going to happen.”
and:
“I notice that I am having the thought that something terrible is going to happen.”
The second statement doesn’t deny the fear. It simply creates a little more space around it.
Mindful observation can help you move from automatically reacting to what you are experiencing towards noticing, reflecting and choosing how you want to respond.
When something feels uncomfortable, it's natural to want to get rid of it. You might distract yourself, seek reassurance, avoid something that feels threatening or act quickly to make the discomfort stop.
These responses can provide short-term relief, but repeatedly trying to escape uncomfortable thoughts and feelings can sometimes make them feel more threatening over time.
This strategy offers a different approach: You are gently turning toward your worries rather than following the natural instinct to push them away, or react with haste. This shift is an important step in reducing their power over you.
There are no right or wrong answers. It’s completely normal to feel some discomfort as you work through this process. You don’t need to analyse everything you notice or work out why you feel the way you do. The intention is simply to notice what is happening and become curious about it.
You can use whatever method feels most comfortable - write things down, create a mind-map, type on your phone or make a voice recording.
The following five steps can help you slow down when you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed or caught up in worry.
Start by noticing what is happening right now.
Try to put your experience into words without judging it as good, bad, right or wrong.
Ask yourself:
You might begin with:
“I am having the thought or worry that…”
“I notice that this worry is making me feel…”
“The emotion I am aware of is…”
Simply naming your experience can help you step back from it rather than becoming completely absorbed by it.
Now, gently become curious about the response your mind and body are having.
Ask yourself:
This isn’t about telling yourself that your fear is irrational. Instead, you are asking an important question:
“Is my nervous system responding to what is happening now, or is something from the past influencing how I am experiencing this moment?”
Sometimes a present-day situation can activate feelings, memories or expectations associated with earlier experiences. Recognising this can create a little more choice in how you respond.
Next, gently bring your attention to your surroundings.
Your nervous system is constantly taking in information about whether you are safe or under threat. See if you can notice both.
Ask yourself:
Look for anything comforting, familiar or regulating in your environment.
Perhaps you notice:
Then notice whether there is anything your nervous system is interpreting as threatening.
Try to distinguish between something that is genuinely unsafe and something that simply feels unsafe because it has activated an old fear or association.
You don’t have to force yourself to feel safe. Just notice what your nervous system is responding to.
Once you have noticed your surroundings, intentionally move your attention towards cues of safety and comfort.
Give yourself permission to spend some time noticing what feels soothing.
You might focus on:
You can also remind yourself of the choices available to you.
Where do I have choice right now?
What is within my control?
What can I choose not to do?
What would help me feel a little more comfortable in this moment?
Sometimes something as simple as having something to eat or drink, sitting somewhere comfortable or changing your environment can help communicate to your body that you are not currently in danger.
The aim isn’t to convince yourself that everything is fine. It is to give your attention to the evidence of safety that may be present alongside the discomfort.
Finally, give your nervous system time.
The body’s threat response can happen very quickly, while settling back into a regulated state can take longer. If you are still feeling uncomfortable after completing the exercise, that doesn’t mean you have done it incorrectly.
Try not to make feeling calm another task that you have to achieve.
Instead, remind yourself:
“I can allow this feeling to be here while I give my body time to settle.”
Notice the small changes.
Perhaps your breathing becomes a little easier. Your shoulders drop slightly. Your thoughts slow down. You become more aware of your surroundings. The intensity of an emotion might move from an 8 to a 6.
These small shifts matter.
One of the most important parts of this exercise is learning that uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and body sensations are not necessarily something you need to immediately fix or escape.
Discomfort is part of being human.
Anxiety, fear, sadness, uncertainty and physical sensations can all arise without meaning that something is wrong or that you need to act on them.
With practice, you can begin to develop a different relationship with these experiences: noticing them without automatically believing them, observing them without immediately reacting, and allowing them time to change.
The goal isn’t to control every thought or feeling.
It is to develop greater awareness, choice and confidence in how you respond.
If you find that anxiety, painful memories or overwhelming emotions are regularly affecting your everyday life, talking to a therapist can provide a safe space to understand what is happening and explore ways of managing it.
Sometimes the first step isn’t making the feeling go away. It’s noticing that it is there, understanding what your mind and body are responding to, and gently reminding yourself that you have choices in how you respond.
Understanding what happens beneath the surface can help you change the way you respond to difficult situations. Before You React is a three-part mini series I've created that explores how your nervous system responds to perceived threat, why you can sometimes react before you've had time to think, and how mindful awareness and observation can create opportunity for new experiences.
Across the series, you'll learn more about the body's automatic responses to stress and how developing a better understanding of your nervous system can help you recognise what is happening, respond with greater self-awareness, and begin to feel more grounded and in control.
Understanding your nervous system can be an important part of making sense of how you think, feel and respond, but you don't have to work through everything on your own. If anxiety, overwhelm or past experiences are affecting your life, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore what is happening and begin to work towards meaningful change.
If you feel ready to take the next step, get in touch to book an initial consultation. We can talk about what you're experiencing, what you would like support with, and whether therapy feels right for you.
To discover more about how I can support you, explore the EMDR and Counselling sections of my website to find out more about the different types of therapy I offer and how they can help with anxiety, overwhelm and the effects of trauma.
